| What happened today was just the beginning's Journal |
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What happened today was just the beginning
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| how predictable! |
[05 Jul 2004|10:07pm] |
ugh, I got a new livejournal.
shut up, it's not like you didn't see it coming,
you bastards.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) nowliexinit
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| you know that old saying, about how you only hurt the ones you love... |
[24 Jun 2004|01:55am] |
I remember back in the early days of highschool when I hung out with all cutters that I used to think their reasons for it were pretty stupid; oh their parents didn't like them and they didn't fit in, big deal, get over it. Sooner or later, when I started cutting myself, I used to think I was so fucking smart, I had it all figured out, I only did it because my life was so hard and nothing ever worked out and it was such an existential tragedy to be me. I was a fucking asshole. Thankfully I escaped that phase of my life with a bare minimum of physical scars, but everything that happens in your life drags itself across your mind and it becomes part of who you are.
I can probably track it down in my life, as I'm sure everyone else can, just what has convinced you that your life is just that much harder and more meaningful or profound or tragic than anyone elses. We all do, well, most of as at least, there are a lucky few that can just accept their lives as they are and truly don't need to prove anything to anyone else, but they are few and far between. Most of us will always see ourselves as the one being done wrong in a situation, and we become blinded to how our actions are affecting the people around us. We're too busy trying to blame them for the collapse of every ideal we chose to force upon them, since being done wrong so many times, we al know how everything should really run.
The important thing to realize here is that people don't hurt people, people hurt each other. Yes, other people will hurt you, but you have to always remember to step back and try to realize how your actions are making them feel. As much as anything in your life has ever hurt, it doesn't hurt as much as realizing how much harm you've done to someone you care about while you were too busy blaming them for everything to notice.
Some lessons you just learn the hard way.
Every once and a while you figure something out that just changes everything.
This journal is over.
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| dear everything, fuck this and fuck you. |
[22 Jun 2004|10:41pm] |
There's so much bullshit in my life and I'm going to vent it out right now then never mention anything ever again because at least half the people who are going to read this are fairweather assholes who make me fucking sick. and I'm not asking for anyone to reply to this with the usual fucking bullshit, pretend to care sympathies, because I don't need it and I don't want it, hollow or not, I just need a place to write something out and this is the only place I'm used to writing. You've been warned.
( nothing you'd care about )
the last open arms show is tomorrow at club saw, 7pm, $8. we're playing third.
come, if you wan't, it doesn't matter, it's always been for us anyways. i will sing my fucking guts out on the floor then stamp on them and be done with it and everyone can be happy and continue judging without creating themselves.
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[15 Jun 2004|01:55am] |
Thanks to everyone who came out to my birthday, appreciated like you wouldn't believe.
"Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends"
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| BIRTHDAY PARTY |
[13 Jun 2004|05:13pm] |
How does 8pm at Golden River on Sommerset sound to everybody?
POST UP
PLEASE AND I'll LOVE YOU
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| LAST MINUTE PLANS |
[10 Jun 2004|04:18pm] |
Anyone want to eat at Govindas with me at 6 pm tonight?
Message up by 5:30
or
msn: meursault_outside@hotmail.com
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| HEY HEY |
[09 Jun 2004|09:41pm] |
Re-recording vocals went AWESOME. The cd is going to be good. I've just finished most of the layout, everything is coming into place.
I work a lot, that's why I don't update, but when I do it will be filled with awesome/horrible customer stories.
OH, SO, it's my 20th birthday on Monday, oh god. I really wish I could go home, since I've never spent a birthday without a bunch of sweet kids from London, but it's just not going to work, THEREFORE:
MONDAY JUNE 14TH, WHO WANTS TO GO OUT TO DINNER/HANG OUT/MAYBE DO SOMETHING ELSE IN HONOR OF ME NOT BEING A TEENAGER ANYMORE?
It'll be great, I'll promise never to do anything teenage again (except teenagers).
SO GET IN TOUCH/POST UP IF YOUR IN
And someone better buy me some shirly fucking temples.
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[07 Jun 2004|02:41pm] |
Strangest thing to ever open a package to.
Sandra Byles you are awesome.
I'm going to cuddle with this guy right away.
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| Man, I hope this song is about a wife-beating race |
[29 May 2004|01:07am] |
Today has been pretty awesome, I gotta say, fuck. Cheered me the fuck up. I love a lot of people right now.
My guitar is covered in sexual lubricant & blood.
I realize that must sound pretty fucked up, but I think it's funnier amibiguous.
Also, a video of this was made.
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| if you're not gonna ride the rocket...then get the fuck off |
[27 May 2004|11:41pm] |
So, based on two-week averages + another two weeks estimation of my weekly activities expressed as a percentange of total hours in a week, I created this graph:
Well.
That's that.
I'm killing myself.
I'm thinking of not going back to Carleton, it'd be feasible, if I could find someone to take over my share of the lease come September, hmmm, anyone?
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| DUCKS |
[27 May 2004|12:40am] |
I'm too lazy to talk about this. Basically: roomate found baby ducks without a mother, we took them in for a night.
( more pics )
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| Fuck |
[25 May 2004|12:44pm] |
My computer fucked up and I lost absolutely everything on my hard drive.
Fuck.
Does anyone have copies of Microsoft Office or Photoshop they can hook me up with?
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| Just like a rose ripped from its root |
[23 May 2004|04:35pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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music |
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Open Arms - another bitter goodbye |
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The worst part about roadtrips is coming back home to your life.
update + pics later tonight.
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[19 May 2004|10:00pm] |
Tonights dinner: a can of corn, microwaved in hoisin sauce.
Gawd I love living alone.
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[17 May 2004|10:58am] |
I think my life is pretty cool and exciting, but I can't think of a way to make that interesting to any of you, so I'll just point out some useful stuff:
I have summer school starting tonight, 6-9, wednesdays too, so, yeah, don't call me then.
My first shift at Sears is Thursday, then after that monday, wednesday, and friday,
THATS RIGHT BOYS, THEY TRIED TO GET ME TO WORK THIS WEEKEND AND I SAID, NO, MAYFEST IS IN FULL EFFECT.
ALSO, I get to go to a dentist today, yeah for sounding charming and desparate on the phone. DRILL MY TOOTH OUT YOU FUCKER.
Ah, yeah, that's about it.
My new room is fucking cool
My friends are fucking cool
My girl is fucking cool
My horrible dental pain is fucking cool
And other than the dental pain, you know you want my life
It's spring, I got a girl who loves me, and the hydro bill hasn't come yet, this is the life
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| Yep, I'm good |
[14 May 2004|05:17pm] |
Job interview: 2pm
Job offer: 5pm
Oh yeah.
Sears Rideau Center
Product Knowledge Specialist - Home Electronics
$10.48/hour
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[13 May 2004|02:19am] |
Thanks to everyone who came out to help me unpack tonight, you saved my life, I was so exhausted. You're all awesome people and I love you, even the girls who just stood there and looked pretty.
Tomorrow is assembling furniture all day, my bed however, is made, and I'm sleeping in.
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| man, all these heart-breaking goodbyes are making me thirsty |
[11 May 2004|09:35pm] |
I'm heading back to Ottawa tomorrow. Should be back between 8 and 9. Anyone who is crazy nice should randomly show up at my house between 8 and 9 to help unpack the U-Haul.
This is way too much like last August when I moved in the first place.
Sorry to everyone with whom I'll have to cancel plans with thanks to my father's sketchiness and changing moving day 4 times.
To the London kids: love you all, I'll be back soon.
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